Kermode as God

He's omniscient and sometimes brutal but always just. He knows how to articulate exactly how moronic 95% of Hollywood movies are with rapier precision. He knows to point me to gems, like Pan's Labyrinth, that I might have otherwise missed. He knows the finer points of films that I, in my gauchery, may not appreciate.

And, yes, as you may have guessed, Mark Kermode knows how to rock. my. sh*t.