It's almost like I was there

As I've griped elsewhere, The Birmingham News is pretty staid (not to mention, at times, just plain wrong), but occasionally their too-often-muzzled bulldog columnist John Archibald will hit a home run. His column on the "Top 10 Dumb Things" said at a Birmingham mayoral candidate forum was excellent. Witness:

• "'I will help the people of Birmingham if you elect me governor,' said Willis Hendrix" (who also denied the existence of racial discrimination in the city).
• Carole Smitherman: "'Birmingham needs a proactive leader,' she said. "'We don't need any more plans, we need solutions. My plan is ...'"  Excellent.
• Bernard Kincaid: "'In the city of Birmingham, if it bleeds, it leads,' Kincaid said. It's not crime, but 'perception of crime' that's the problem." As though Birmingham's shameful murder rate is just a  confabulation of the News's metro desk.

A forum like this could probably provide material to fill a special promotional insert; I'm sure Archibald showed considerable restraint culling it down to a mere 10.